


this show of mine consumes me

by ElasticElla



Category: Pitch (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Cheating, F/F, Femslash February, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 12:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13787844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Ginny first meets Evelyn selling burgers at the stadium.





	this show of mine consumes me

**Author's Note:**

> title/mood from maria mena's self-fulfilling prophesy
> 
> this is probably the angstiest thing i've written in a while and i just published a deathfic so yeah

**9.**

Evelyn kisses her.

Evelyn kisses her and it's like the past decade has disappeared. She doesn't taste like that god-awful bubble gum she used to pop near constantly, though Ginny would swear there are still faint echoes of it underneath her tongue.

Evelyn kisses her and for the slimmest slice of eternity, Ginny forgets about all the reasons why it can't happen.

The air conditioning clicks on, reality rushing back, and Ginny's traitorous hands are already tangled up in Evelyn's hair. Ginny swallows, steps out of her space, swallows again.

“We can't do this,” she finally says.

Evelyn sighs, “I know.”

 

**8.**

Recuperating sucks, but Evelyn insists she visits often, the boys enjoy having her around. (Ginny's sure a big part of that is due to the m&ms and late night television she enables, but Evelyn doesn't mind like Blip does.)

It takes a while for Ginny to stop asking if she's intruding, to realize that Evelyn is lonely too. Blip isn't around, not nearly as often as Ginny is- she’s trying to avoid the public and her team and she'd be avoiding Evelyn too, but Evelyn's persistent.

Ev means not feeling bad or guilty, means fitting into a not-quite new place. (As comfy as their couch is, Ginny spends her nights at home, can't stay around a tired Blip in uniform for long.)

 

**7.**

Ginny dances with a brunette, for once uncaring that her hands are on a woman in public. The alcohol helps, and she keeps drinking trying to drown out that one thought.

Evelyn is pregnant.

Evelyn is going to drop out of school to raise Blip's-

Ginny dances faster, brings the blonde in closer. It's a different woman than before, and she should have noticed that a hell of a lot faster. Should have noticed-

Evelyn's pregnant.

 

**6.**

Their friendship is strained after the breakup, after Ev and Blip become a real thing. Blip takes her out on the town, gets her in the society sports pages looking gorgeous, and she goes to each of his games- cheering him on.

Ginny can’t help but think that could have been them- they could have been happy together, one day. (But not even in her own mind does she believe that, trying to let go of an implausible illusion.)

 

**5.**

Blip and Evelyn meet by mistake, Evelyn coming to a game to surprise her. Blip introduces himself, all slick charm and Ginny does what she always does when things are getting too real: she self-sabotages.

By the end of the game, Evelyn has a date with Blip and Ginny’s pretty sure they’re broken up.

She’s always been an efficient kid.

 

**4.**

Evelyn’s parents are in town and Ginny wants to meet them. Even if it isn’t fair- even though Evelyn has said she doesn’t mind them not being public. But Evelyn’s firm in her refusal, her parents don’t know she likes women and she doesn’t want to go there.

It isn’t fair, but Ginny can’t help but ask, “Are you going to marry a man for them too?”

“I’m bi, when I want to settle down I will.”

And it isn’t an answer, but Ginny can’t ask again.

 

**3.**

(Even in her fantasies, Evelyn is hidden away in a large mansion. A black lesbian baseball player? Ginny can’t see it going well.)

 

**2.**

A one night stand turns into a summer fling when it turns out Evelyn lives near the training field.

They get drunk on the field together, late at night, late enough that not even maintenance will be there. Laying out on the grass, passing the evening’s bottle back and forth as they stare up at the stars and talk about dreams.

It’s the first time Ginny’s ever been in love, fantasizes about them living together one day.

 

**1.**

Ginny first meets Evelyn selling burgers at the stadium.

She gets two- one before the game and one after. No matter that they’re some of the worst burgers she’s ever had, and Evelyn’s laughing grin says she knows it.

Ev’s number on a napkin, and Ginny positively floats home, napkin tucked away safely in her pocket.

 

**10.**

It doesn’t happen again, it can’t. Ginny feels guilty about the spot she put Ev in, shouldn’t have let her do it. Her lips still tingle with the phantom kiss, and Ginny can’t keep thinking about it.

She lost Evelyn long ago when she picked baseball, it’s cruel to act otherwise.

(Her traitorous mind whispers: _friend or lover, Evelyn was hers first_.)


End file.
